So you’re ready to take the next step and move in with your partner. While sharing a living space together might seem easy, there are many small details about modifying your home to fit your significant other that you might not consider. Will you share a closet? Will you have your own hobby space? Will you decorate the house together? These are some unexpected questions that may arise.
To help answer some of these questions, we reached out to dating experts from San Francisco, CA to Atlanta, GA to share their expert insight into how to navigate moving in with your partner for the first time. Here’s what they had to say.
Have a talk before moving in with your partner
Start by talking about your expectations around what a home really means to you; what you liked from homes you grew up in, what you didn’t like and why; what 3 words come to mind when you think of the feeling you want your home to give you; and, what your needs are in terms of spending time together and apart. Then, use these conversations as a springboard to start narrowing down the location, spaces, and more concrete things about your desired space together. Too many couples and families think of the physical and practical stuff first, without being aware of their deeper needs and expectations. This can lead to miscommunication or disappointment – start by sharing and exploring your deeper expectations together, and the rest will follow. – Relationship Zen
Tour the house together to identify likes and dislikes
Each of you should have a place to work and to relax. Tour the house together, visiting each room, including the outside spaces. Answer the question, “If I had it all my way, this room would be like …..” And see if you can create some win/win compromises so that each of you has the homey spaces that you desire and need. Look to see where you are happy to make accommodations and not happy to make accommodations. Give and take, compromise, and help each other create the spaces that say home to both of you. – Julie Ferman, Los Angeles Matchmaking
Balance each other’s belongings
Unless your partner is moving directly from living with their parents, they probably have their own furniture. Take an inventory together, and be willing to part with some of your pieces or put them in storage to make room for your partner’s. How you learn to approach these relatively low-stakes compromises can help you communicate more effectively in the future. – Scott Valdez, VIDA
Decorate your new home together
When moving in with your partner, it’s time to make the wall space uniquely yours as a couple. Decide which pieces of art you‘d like to keep and see which pieces of art your partner would like to hang in your home. Then, head over to an art gallery or outdoor art show, and select a piece together to represent the new beginning of your life living under the same roof. – Julie Spira, online dating expert and founder of Cyber-Dating Expert
Designate a space for yourself
Create a “me” space. When living together, it’s important that you and your partner have an area where you can both claim as your own. Creating a space, whether it be part of a room, a specific couch, or an entire room, can help give each person their own sense of belonging. This way, you don’t feel overcrowded, and you have a sense of individuality in your living space. – Carla Romo, Certified Dating & Relationship Coach and Author
Make space a benefit to your mental health
When moving in with your significant other, it’s important to create spaces in the home that are exclusively separate when one or both of you need to “escape” from one another. Consider creating spaces in the home for your mental and physical well-being. The space can be used for meditation, reading, or a quiet room. A home gym, yoga, or exercise space are also great options to reduce stress and get a quick workout to increase blood flow, improve your mood and improve sleep. – Carmelia Ray
Make the space cozy
No matter how small the space you are moving into, make sure you each find a spot that feels like it’s your own. For instance, maybe there’s a chair that each of you designates as “mine.” Use lighting, pillows, blankets, candles, whatever props necessary to make it really feel like you are sinking into your own space. Then, whether you’re together or home alone, you’ve got a place that’s all yours. – Dr. Sharon Cohen
If you have limited space, try a hobby area
After researching thousands of couples, renowned relationship experts John and Julie Gottman found that happy couples are those who know and support each person’s goals and interests. When moving in together, carve out space for your partner to pursue their passion projects. Designate all or part of a room to their gardening, writing, music, or other hobby and encourage them to delight in what brings them joy. – Jessica Engle, Bay Area Dating Coach
Create a space of solitude
Make sure to create a private space as your own personal retreat from one another. This could look like a reading nook with a comfortable chair tucked away with your favorite candle aroma. Solitude can enhance your relationship with yourself and your significant other. – Soul to Soul Coaching
Transform living areas on certain days
Keep your relationship happy and healthy by having separate personal space for some “me time”. Even if it’s not a dedicated space, transform the den as a retreat for him on Saturdays and the living room for her for downtime on Sundays. People need downtime space for mental and emotional wellness which, in turn, will open space for a truly healthy relationship. – Nicole Talks Love
Convert your closet into a mini office
The pandemic has changed the way many couples work. Most couples were thrown into working from home without any preparation. To keep the relationship alive and thriving, it is beneficial to have separation in your home and workspace. I have seen couples convert their closets into mini offices in different rooms. This is not only a fun creative task to do as a couple, but having these separate spaces can keep the relationship flourishing as well. – Amie the Dating Coach
Opt for two bathrooms
Sharing a bathroom can be tricky and many couples opt for having separate bathrooms or two sinks in a master suite with two separate closets which is optimal. If you must share, cleanliness is the key. It is possible to share a small bathroom. Don’t clutter it and be smart about storage. – Lisa Concepcion, Certified Professional Life Coach and Founder of LoveQuest Coaching
Use curtains or beads to separate a room
Once you move in with your significant other, seeing each other won’t be the special treat it was before Maintaining a little privacy can help keep the romance burning. Create designated spaces in your home where you can have time to yourselves (besides the bathroom). If your home can’t accommodate two fully private offices, consider options like beaded curtains to create a veil of privacy in a shared room. – Dating by Blaine
Make sure your bedroom and workspace are separate
Sharing space isn’t easy, especially if you’ve been living alone for a long time, and these days, most people are working from home, too. One important tip is to separate work from play – have your desk in a separate place from where you watch TV or where you sleep. There is nothing worse than one partner trying to sleep while the other is tapping away at the keys. – A Little Nudge
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